Don’t let Emotions Show

Thursday June 17, 2004
Fuck… Just when you think you have
trained your mind to not let any
emotion show…
SOMETHING FUCKS WITH YOU!How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate that you can’t drive a car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big wierd hooker boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right,

I hate that I can’t tell when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around,

and the fact that you can’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.

Yea, yea, I know, I ripped it off, but at least I changed some of it to make it fit into our context. Besides, I’m allowed to rip it off, It’s our movie anyway

Well, lately, my whole world has been turned upside down. It’s been one wild surge of emotions, and sometimes hormones But through it all… there’s been one emotion that has prevailed. I used to not beleive in love at first sight. I used to not think there was much of anything to life. I used to be dumb, and ignorant, and folly. I used to tell someone I loved them, not meaning it for a second. I don’t know why… It was really stupid of me…


Posted 6/17/2004 at 2:41 AM

Yours, Eternally, Nikolicious

Thursday June 17, 2004
OK, So I left around 4 with Saqora, Jon, and Eric, To go to Gene’s Gpa’s house. BUT BEFORE we left guess what happened. SAQORA FOUND ME A RECORD PLAYER!
*Screams like a little preppy girl at a backstreet boys concert*
Anyway, so I walk out the door wearing a skimpy shirt with no bra, but of course thats typical Mina Kaye. I found out we are changing game from Vampire The Masquerade to Werewolf. I think its good cause we really need a change. It was getting so bored there for a while. Anyway, so there we were, in the middle of fucking dead end Egypt. God It was great. And I had Black Berries for the first time. Didn’t know that you could eat them. They were awesome. And I was asking about all the different types of weeds that grow around the area, cause the weeds were really thick. In South Carolina… all we had were Pine Trees. I FUCKING HATE PINE TREES, AND PINE CONES, AND PINE STRAW with a passion. Then again for punishment in South Carolina, my step father would send me out in our two acres of land and make me pick up all the pine cones up with my hands. I only got to use trash bags and a wheel barrow. Never a rake. So yeah… that should explain alot. But the scenery here is so different. I can really tell that I haven’t gotten out a lot within the past year. I didn’t know a Dandelion was a weed… HOW BLONDE AM I? But we had a grill and a bonfire and Larped a little bit. But I caught a ride home early cause I wanted to be home at a decent hour. I watched Treasure Planet with my Dad. That movie is so Pimp. Then, I realize… Hey it pays off to check your email every half hour. Know Why? Read this. Tell me this isn’t priceless… 

Thursday, June 17, 2004 12:03 AM Hey Babe!

I was just thinking about you, and decided to read your xanga. I guess you are having some thoughts about me that we need to straighten out… but not here, not now. In person. I want you to get a hold of me AS SOON AS YOU READ THIS.

Don’t cry anymore. I would do anything for you. I don’t want you to hurt, I want to make you happy. Not sad. I don’t know what my problem was that day. I was freaking out a little bit too much over the cops. I thought they had stopped because they recognized my face or something. Stoner logic at it’s finest!

Don’t shed any tears for me, babe. I’ll be coming home soon. Home to you… Home to where the key fits perfectly into the lock… Home where the walls could come crashing down around us, and neither of us would care, because we have each other… Home, where the heart is, and there is no pain or worry…

Thinking of you always,
Your lover tried and true,
The one that holds the key,

Yours, Eternally,

Ok, so by the end of it I was in tears of Joy. My worst fears always tend to get the best of me. Then agian the fear of being alone scares me more. But I was so happy to receive that letter. And yes, I was literally in tears. Mushy, sad, helpless romantic me, but I just thought it was the sweetest thing I’ve ever recieved.
I have no idea what the plans are for tomarrow, besides the fact, that i’m susposed to visit Jake ( I haven’t seen him in forever) and the concert, and I’m supposed to get in touch with Nik ASAP as you can tell from the letter.

And I saw a Snow Rider for the first time too today! YeAH@!

OH, and personal reminder. Mike A is going to be at SBD’s and he’s supposed to prove me wrong, so i’m supposed to meet him.


PS: OH YEAH… I found out something that really makes me happy… FIREFLIES!

Posted 6/17/2004 at 2:35 AM

I can’t beleive you can be so paranoid… anyway… I’m still online…. I guess you are typing a response or something, I havent gotten anything from you.


Posted 6/17/2004 at 2:2 AM by whatthehellsgoingon

hey if you still want to go to my show, lemme know ASAQ, and let me know when and where to pick you up,  if he’s got money, invite nik too.  and all your friends.  the more ppl show up the more i pay the bands.

ok, later.

ps – what’s with oonly one eprop.  are you stingy today?

Posted 6/17/2004 at 2:57 AM by Ithinkyoucanseeherkidneys
Posted 6/22/2004 at 11:53 PM by whatthehellsgoingon