Friday December 31, 2004



My maskera smears from the tears I’ve been crying.  Its so hard to watch them leave. Pack up in there truck and drive away. Plus the fact that I wanted so cry so bad and they just wouldn’t hurry up and go.

Woke up to the NOT MISSED wake up call from my step dad John. That man is SO evil in the morning. The hotel had nothing good for breakfast so we ate at perkins once again. Went shopping at Wal-Mart, PayLess, And The Mall, where John bought me another Labret because I swallowed my other one. My sister kept throwing tamrums because I got something and she didn’t. GOD is there no one worth shit in my family anymore? I’ve come to the conclusion… I’m going to San Frisico with Allison. I’m not just going to sit here and watch my worthless life go by. I have maybe Two things in the good for nothing town that mean anything to me, and if they are honestly worth it, they’ll let me go on with my life and meet back up with me later. We went back down to my house. I’m really horrible with directions. We almost got lost so many times since the pervious evening. But my sister did hug me goodbye. So I guess for now thats all that matters. I do love her. But she’s not worth fighting for anymore… God I hate Goodbyes…

Literally 15 Minutes after my family left, both Kayla, Ethan, And Allison all show up to my house about the same time. Some things are just hopeless. I really wanted everyone to meet my family. I guess there really isn’t any point. I went out running errands with Allison. I had Christmas money burning a hole in my pocket that I had to get rid of so we went to the mall. I’ve found one of the things in life that makes me happy. Driving down the street, with the music blaring , screaming at the top of my lungs, while the window rolled down and my head hanging out the window. The little things make me happy. I really don’t ask for much I don’t think.

Maurces was having a sale. AND what a blessing too. The dress I wanted was on SERIOUS SELL. A 44 dollar dress was 75% off. I got it for about $8 bucks. Bought the shoes that I couldn’t live without, and bought jewelry at Clairs.. Ok, so I stole some of it, but oh fuckin well.

Went to see the Butterflies.
Ate at Taco Bell. Went To Gene’s house. Showed them the dress. Allison took me home.

Posted 12/31/2004 at 4:54 AM


heye I just try not to say good byes because theirto sad so i just try to think of it as a see you later but not goodbye

And someday when you need help ill be here to help you :)

Posted 1/7/2005 at 1:16 PM by Broken_girl22



Wednesday December 29, 2004



In The afternoon my stepfather John called from Indiana saying that they were coming to see me. I got so excited I didn’t get much cleaning done though. Cody was with me when I got the call. So he helped with my kitchen a bit. There was no point sitting around and waiting so I went over with Kirk to  Kat and Augusts for Larp. I was able to stay almost the whole time anyway cause I guess traffic was bad so they didn’t show until about 9:30-10pm. It was wonderful to see them. John didn’t know what to think. And my own sister didn’t like me. She said I was scary and that I wasn’t the Kimberly that she used to know. Stephanie just kinda stared.. I don’t think she was thrilled then agian she has grown into quite the prep. Her and my Little sister both. And Deseree has gotten so Big and UGLY. She looks nothing like me anymore. She comes up to about my shoulders now and Wears the same size anything except pants… She’s spoiled just as I Figured she would be… and is in cheerleading and owns a cell phone at only nine years old. I’m not thrilled.. But it was good to see them. We went and ate at Perkins. I got a French Dip and Desi only got soup. Steph didn’t eat everything and John just kept laughing at me. It was weird smoking in front of them. Went stayed in the Motel 8 hotel and bullshited until early in the morning. I TOOK A SHOWER! They made fun of my fathers bloody holey socks that I was wearing because I didn’t own my own and they laughed so hard about it. They fell asleep hours before me. I fell asleep watching Sci Fi. There wasn’t anything on as usual. I stared at my sister sleeping beside me which she hadn’t in a long time…  … … She doesn’t kick anymore, but she does still sleep with her mouth open.

Tuesday Night: went to V’s. I was soo ANGRY! I called my mother and All that she did was bitch at me. It was probably because she was talking with her mother again. God my grandmother can be so Judgemental. I also got to talk to my step father. Went with Saquora to his house and watched Shrek 2. That movie is so not for Kids. Ate tomato soup… and went home.. woop.. so exciting

Posted 12/29/2004 at 4:23 PM



Tuesday December 28, 2004

Tuesday December 28, 2004
This Holiday has really sucked. My schedule is fucked up too.

Hung out with Gene. Watched King Aurther and ate pizza. Played Fable once again for hours. Open Allisons gifts. They were awesome. V gave me a blowdryer and a curling iron which where both very much Needed. Cole Josh and Allison came over. Both of the boys were being seriously annoying and I have Allison who can agree with me. They were seriously hitting on us, and it was SO GROSS!. Watched interview with a vampire. Farted on Coles Lap. *Woop* Cheers For Me.. HAHA

Posted 12/28/2004 at 6:5 AM

Posted 1/6/2005 at 12:17 PM by wildrumpus
yeha my christmas kinda blowed too, but then the show kicked ass so it all added up
Posted 1/6/2005 at 2:23 PM by RxAoCxHoExL


Saturday December 25, 2004



Saturday December 25, 2004
Merry Ho Ho…

Grandma and Aunt dawn came over early. When I had only gone to bed about 3 hours before. They gave me my Christmas gifts. I know own the dollar bills with President Bush and Kerry on them…. hmmm I’m so thrilled… Slept Till 3, Watch movies, Bathed, Masterbated… Nick Andrews Came over. Went to Bryon and V’s house, Chilled played Fable. Allison Took me home, Watched Tv. Crashed… Nothing very exciting…

Posted 12/25/2004 at 6:25 AM



Friday December 24, 2004



Wednesday: Had my Cleaning Party. It was pretty cool. I had so many people over and I wasn’t really exspecting much.  We scrubbed out my fringe… I don’t think that has been done since we bought the mother fucker. It looks good. I know have a closet once again too. Brandon Mcannon was over to help, and so was Clayton, Brandon Franklin, Rob, Ethan, Kayla and Arial. We completely rearranged my room too.White Drinking and smoking the whole time. I also got to meet Brandon’s Sister finally. She is pretty cool. Later on we we ended up at South Seventh. I was over all enjoying the evening until Alicia decided to openly admit she wasn’t thrilled with me. She had a problem with the fact that both Nik and Dan are both her brothers and that seeing me in that situation wasn’t comfortable for her. It really bothered the fuck out of me. I even went upstairs and Balled in the bathroom. I was so upset I had to take some shots to even feel better, and by that time was so completely gutsy that I outright said what I felt about Nik. So then there we were up in her room for about an hour, me crying my eyes out about how madly in love with the fucker I am and we can’t be together. She also mentioning that I guess Dan was taken with me and didn’t want me to hurt him. Completely understandable. I just don’t understand how I manage to get myself into these perdicaments. My Fault.. Yes, Perposely No. And for crying out loud. What do they exspect me to do? Be in a God Damn Romeo And Juliet Story? Has anyone any clue as to what  pain that is? Anyway, The evening wasn’t all the best, But at least I went home drunk. So all is well.

Thursday: Hung out with Allison

Friday: My Mother still isn’t here. I honestly wonder why I wait. The sun has set already and I just woke up not too long ago. Rob came over. Went went out to Wal-Mart and had ourselves a Feast. My Christmas feast for the year. It was good. Very Good on me. Then sat around and watched a movie. By the time Rob was wanting to go home. Kendra stopped by wanting to hang out. We went to South Seventh and played Trivial Persute which is way beyond me, except for the really strange questions I can answer like what was Linnea Quigley Famous For… Her Scream. Or Something about a French Cleaning technique used on a king. And of all the things to pop up in my mind would be an enema… And it was right, but the fact I knew it is quite disturbing. Ben harrassed me big time for it, but then again at the same time he was very kind that evening. He’s been around seen the world and has so very much to say that I find very interesting. Even if it means nothing to anyone else, I learn so much from him. I met Molly who knew most of the answers, but didn’t end up using her first guesses so they didn’t win. Shes very nice. And Me and Ben and Alica, and Kendra and Dan All played up until 4:45 in the morning. I was so tired by the time we left. I had a very fun evening.

Posted 12/24/2004 at 4:12 PM



Tuesday December 21, 2004



Accidentally In Love
By: Counting Crows

So she said what’s the problem baby
What’s the problem I don’t know
Well maybe I’m in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can’t stop thinking ’bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause
I can’t ignore it if it’s love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me
but I don’t know nothing ’bout love

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody’s after love

So I said I’m a snowball running
Running down into the spring that’s coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love
Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn’t mean to do it
But there’s no escaping your love

These lines of lightning
Mean we’re never alone,
Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love
Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love
We’re accidentally in love
Accidentally in love (x7)
I’m In Love, I’m in Love,
I’m in Love, I’m in Love,
I’m in Love, I’m in Love,
Accidentally (X 2)

Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world’s a little brighter
Come on, come on

Just get yourself inside her
Love …I’m in love


Posted 12/21/2004 at 11:31 PM



Tuesday December 21, 2004



Tuesday December 21, 2004
Monday:  The Butterflies Visited. Didn’t get any sleep so once agian I skipped. Slept in, Kayla slept with me. Played Vampire masquerade with Kirk until who knows when and over all that was my day.

Tuesday: Went to school for once. Slept anyway. Jesus Emailed me! Cheers! Went over there after school to see Ben and retreve my pen back. He was polite. Felt Shy around Dan. Played Vampire Masquerade ALL NIGHT LONG. Tomarrow is cleaning day. *Woop*

Posted 12/21/2004 at 10:54 PM



Tuesday December 21, 2004



Tuesday December 21, 2004
Monday:  The Butterflies Visited. Didn’t get any sleep so once agian I skipped. Slept in, Kayla slept with me. Played Vampire masquerade with Kirk until who knows when and over all that was my day.

Tuesday: Went to school for once. Slept anyway. Jesus Emailed me! Cheers! Went over there after school to see Ben and retreve my pen back. He was polite. Felt Shy around Dan. Played Vampire Masquerade ALL NIGHT LONG. Tomarrow is cleaning day. *Woop*

Posted 12/21/2004 at 10:54 PM



Sunday December 19, 2004


Sunday December 19, 2004



That was the best party I’ve been too, in … Forever. For one because I didn’t have to throw it, my house wasn’t the one getting trashed, I was drunk off my ass,  It was an excellent crowd of people. And I kissed Jesus. Sry, I find That funny.  His name is Dan, and everyone says he looks like Jesus. Nice guy. Doesn’t say much unless he’s drunk, then he mumbles. But its all good. At least its not his brother Ben, who makes fun of me and Chokes me.. AHHH… I honestly thought I was gonna die. I guess he’s cool now tho. I saw  and met a shitload of  people that I would have only dreamed of  meeting before.  Plus the fact that just about everyone  there were more responcable drinkers. Which I envyed. I love sitting on the couch while Ben and his friends sing and dance to the music. Such characters really. Not to mention me dancing in the kitchen after so many shots. I hope I don’t creep out anybody, Then again, They haven’t said anything to me yet. And I don’t think I’ve hit on anybody, SO, I’m very proud of myself and I think I’m doing good. While having fun. Cheers for me I guess.

Posted 12/19/2004 at 11:33 PM



Saturday December 18, 2004

Saturday December 18, 2004

How many people out there hate me? Tell me here and now. Cause I really want to know. Just now, I found that one of the people I Loved and Trust the most, completely betrayed me. Jake, who I considered one of my most trustworthy friends, completely stabbed me in the back. Talking to my ex (Nik) and stating that I cheated on him (Jake) too. BULL FUCKING SHIT! I NEVER EVER CHEATED ON JAKE. That is such a load of shit. If anyone can straight up tell me, who the fuck I cheated on Jake with, then tell me now, because it never happened. How does one cheat on a guy if at the time they were practiceing Abstintance? Honestly. Yeah, quite the shock huh. I was sex free for a good six months. And then Lent I gave up masterbating. I just never thought that someone I love I could hate so much. There is this piercing pain in my back from where the knife ran through me. And of all the people in the world, I never thought Jake would hate me. Lets set the record straight in regards to that whole confrontation. I’ve never had a problem with Amanda, and I still don’t. I’ve partyied with people who did the things she did, just why should I be hated for looking out for what was my best friends well being. Was I wrong for trying to protect him? I didn’t want him being influenced by those harsh things. But when he told me that she was quiting doing those things, everything was cool. I have no problem with her now. Just as long as he’s not getting into that bullshit. I wonder what she held against me in the past. I don’t even know what I did to her. I don’t remember getting the chance to meet her either.

I really don’t like any of you…

This town can burn to the ground…

Posted 12/18/2004 at 7:6 PM
yeah whatever, you don’t hate me.
Posted 12/22/2004 at 12:0 AM by Ithinkyoucanseeherkidneys
alright Mina… i dont have anything against u either….. but then u went and asked the whole alt. school about me… and telling some girl… that u were gonna “get me busted for this shit”…  that pissed me off…and fuck Ian dont ever believe a word he says…. telln everyone that i a fucking crack whore… lolol what a dumbass… hes not going anywhere in life…. and thats another reason i gave this shit up… its not worth it…… i never ever even asked jake if he wanted to do any or force him to… i respect that he doesnt like that shit… completly….  (sorry cant spell worth shit) my friends are lookn out for me…. telln me that they wished i would quit… and i did…. for my friends and for jake…. im doing my best… and its not as hard as it was the first couple of days…. i wanna be me and noone else… i dont wanna be someone else that im not…… so… therefor its gone.. outta my life…. forgood…. but yes….. thanks for lookin out for jake…. but i think im handling it well….
Posted 12/23/2004 at 12:30 PM by WeAllFloatFaceDown
i, uh, umm, wanna join the “hate you” club. can i, pretty please?
Posted 12/23/2004 at 5:42 PM by mrben

Ok, Mina I’m am not pissed about you cheating on me.  I believe you did, and well so says someone.  What I am upset about is how much you fucking lied to me.  You cheatin on me is a thing of the past, yea I was upset when I learned about it recently, but I mean that was long ago.  But learning about the things you lied to me about and shit is what mad me mad.  I mean one lie isn’t gonna hurt, but a shit load does.  I mean I didn’t belive them at first, but after a few of your friends telling me that you lied to me is very convincing.  So either you have friends that hate you or you actually lied to me and well I believe you lied to me, when I found out you lied to me twice without anyone telling, me findig out on my own.

Well peace out and see ya.

Posted 12/23/2004 at 9:29 PM by DemonMonkey
uh… what is sarcasm?
Posted 12/24/2004 at 1:21 PM by mrben

Mina if you ever get the chance, i am out and fucking free, give me a call on my cell phone sum day…563-571-6139…and my msn thing is “mybulletsurlove” same with email.  Luv ya chic….by the way what ever you choose to do, nobody should judge u, if u cheated on some one that is your fucking business..not everyone elses…stay away from those bitches….ya still have me….um talk to ya later..

Luv Hannah

Posted 12/25/2004 at 2:20 PM by mybulletsurlove
i have a VAGINA
Posted 12/28/2004 at 6:19 PM by xeroxicide
if this shit hole of a town burns to the ground i am going to take you with me….dont fight it….you love me and you know it.

i negative three you ( <3 )

Posted 1/2/2005 at 6:17 PM by beautiful_nightmare_34

hi sweetheart.

Posted 1/5/2005 at 11:23 PM by happyoranges