but no really. FML. REALLY WANT TO BE IN SOUTH CAROLINA right about … .. .. Now. lol or Vegas… Vegas would be good too.
So… I’m still confused about society. Who actually cares, who doesn’t, and what am I actually supposed to pay attention too? At my age I have so many people coming at me from different directions I don’t know what to even focus on anymore.
My friend Kayla invited me out tonight. She was telling me all about her great news about the Native American government willing to help her out. At the same Time I show her my left over debt for my lawyers which I’ve been paying off for awhile now. Actually I showed it to several people. 700.00 Dollars left. YAY! How awesome. Such progress from where I began. Does anyone care… Nope. no one can. All Kayla can think about is how broke I’ve been and that she’s bought all my drinks and food. which is true*sigh* i’m the worst friend ever. thinking of how to make it up to her someday???? Ideas? God I love her. how do You show your best friend you love them?
So my therapist is leaving state, my dad is always mad, I noticed my family members aren’t my friends on facebook, I still don’t feel well, the to do list keeps piling up and I’m tired of my life being a constant soap opera… Although i’m listening to one on TV right now and the writers should totally take a look at my blog. Would be more interesting. Sigh… Really want a break.
Off to play with the ferret
You control our world. You’ve poisoned the air we breathe, contaminated the water we drink, and copyrighted the food we eat. We fight in your wars, die for your causes, and sacrifice our freedoms to protect you. You’ve liquidated our savings, destroyed our middle class, and used our tax dollars to bailout your unending greed. We are slaves to your corporations, zombies to your airwaves, servants to your decadence. You’ve stolen our elections, assassinated our leaders, and abolished our basic rights as human beings. You own our property, shipped away our jobs, and shredded our unions. You’ve profited off of disaster, destabilized our currencies, and raised our cost of living. You’ve monopolized our freedom, stripped away our education, and have almost extinguished our flame. We are hit… we are bleeding… but we ain’t got time to bleed. We will bring the giants to their knees and you will witness our revolution!
Well, I’m still hacking up my lungs, but for the most part I remain in good spirits. Yesterday I got to get out of the house for a little bit. Terry from Toolagy took me to that Mexican restaurant across from the Hojo where I work. The food was excellent. I was so full, speaking of that I have left overs in my fridge i should go eat. *giggles*
I had therapy at 4 yesterday and it was very productive. I’m supposed to repeat affirmation truths to myself while meditating three times a day. Statistics show it helps with stress. But he did agree with me that my thoughts of taking a vacation were sound. So the plan is at the end of the summer I’ll be taking off again for South Carolina. Most likely right after Old Threshers cause I promised Patrick I’d do that with him this year. *yay* I think Francious would enjoy that too. (hehe I think that was a jump for joy in ferret speak). Gotta get the car fixed and the lawyers paid off by then. So i’m crossing my fingers cause I could really use this. The courts, and the cops, and the lawyers, and my friend in jail, its all getting to me. I’d tried to remain really strong and positive but a little girl can only handle so much. My therapist says that stress can make you physically sick which is a huge possiblity of why i’m sick now… Funny thing when I think about it, I started feeling this way (sick) right after the whole drama thing went down. eating me alive from the inside out.
But its nice when people online comment, sending their positive regards and uplifting comments of encouragement.
Therapy has definitely kept me going above all things. My therapist is the BEST. He is so … real. and hes not judgmental, but he isn’t all by the book dr speak either.
But I think that South Carolina will be a good place for me to rediscover myself and recoup back to my old self again… only hard part. How do I explain that to the band? Feedback is welcomed *smiles*
I wanted to apologize and thank everyone for being so understanding this past weekend. My health has been horrible and I can’t seem to shake it. I’m sorry I didn’t make it out this weekend to the people I was supposed to hang out with. I will do my best to make it up to you.
This has been the worst year for my health ever, and I’m trying to do everything in my power to stay healthy but I just can’t seem to manage. The weekend was really rough on my. Friday I basicly bombed my show with Bombshell, my voice wore out and nothing but a raspy grudge sound would come out. I appreciate the sediments that I sounded good, but i’m not deaf. I know I was horrific. :P I did get to see a friend whom I haven’t seen in a long time this weekend which was pleasant, but when I got home the next day I PASSED OUT. for hours. Slept for 16 hours! woke up and everyone had sent me WHERE ARE YOU messages and for that I am so sorry.
Today Patrick was my hero. He came over and brought me some books for me to read while I’m in bed. One is an Aerosmith autobiography and the other is “Just Sippy” by our local lady Kim Coleman. Really syked to get to read that one. Has anyone already read it? Wouldn’t mind hearing some reviews.
Then he took me to subway as a good pick me up. I Love subway. I repeat I love love love subway. giggles. Then we went to mall and we picked out my interview outfit for miss burlington. I tell you what. I look freakin cute! Then at Vanity he got me some jeans that ACTUALLY FIT since I’m outgrown everything. We even got Coco Chanel no 5. I am so freaking out right now! I feel like marilyn monroe reencarnated :P So that made me feel somewhat better, but i felt really drained. Came home and slept. Sorry Kayla, Thats the second time in a weekend I blew her off. God i’m the worst friend ever. But if anyone happeneds to have any vicks or other meds. please send em my way. :P xOxx