Finally, Reality Check

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Thank you for that great slap in the face. That realization to remind that what I am doing is for good reason. That part of me that for months has longed in anguish as to torture my sanity leaving me hurdled in a ball. After I spoke with my mother about this decision I started second guessing and thinking about how good you are to me and how well you treat me and wondered if I was doing the right thing by leaving for a while. Well I have my reminder. Thank you for that.

We definitely need time and space apart because if there is ever a chance for us sharing a future then we need to work on ourselves. I need to get more zen and you seriously need to attend counseling because I seriously have little faith in our future if you don’t. Whatever trauma you experienced in your youth has molded you in a way that you’re detached emotionally from things you shouldn’t be, and clinging to things that shouldn’t take priority. Your upbringing has left you with baggage preventing you from expressing yourself in a healthy manner and it is like a sinking ship while I am already clinging to a raft going down with you. I know I have baggage as well, but between the two of us if we don’t get our shit together it will continue to be a vicious cycle of negativity. I’m leaving to find myself, and if you really want us to have any hope I suggest you get the help you need and do the same.

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