Can’t Find Comfort Elsewhere


Well, I suppose I should be grateful that it wasn’t what I had originally assumed. I potentially would have made him eat dirt if I had found out he sent me home just to bring over someone else, but in all seriousness, it really sucks having your ex live with your sister and having to read her random messages about your ex, the one who you thought you were gonna marry, is out screwing other broads. Did she not think that would obsess over it? Does everyone have this concept that Mina is (FINE and DANDY?) I must have the entire world fooled! Because I haven’t been and I’m still not okay. To be honest i’m on the brink of a breakdown. Matt, my mechanic, which I don’t think I’ve introduced to my blog yet, is a coping mechanism, a distraction, or in literal form an arm to hold me up when I can’t walk from drinking myself in oblivion…over the loss of one I actually gave a fuck about, which… seems to be regularly. Speaking of that WHY is it that everyone LOVES the shit out of guys I’m NEVER INTERESTED IN. In my mind, he has been friendzoned, but I sure as shit ain’t gonna tell him that, nor risk repeating it considering all my friends are TERRIBLE at keeping their mouths shut. As of this moment, I am fragile, and easily broken, and obviously can’t cope alone or I would likely spend all my time sulking over how all my dreams have been shattered… Again… Ugh. I’m scared this is gonna turn into another Graham situation and I’m gonna have to run for the hills, or perhaps I’ll just embrace it this time. Its not like anyone I ever loved adored me the same in return and if they did it was highly explosive, so thus, perhaps giving up is best. At least I’d have someone who worships me like a queen…

While I stare with longing from afar for the ones I wasn’t enough for…

Why does everything have to Suck SO BAD! I sit at work and ponder jumping off the second story. I feel so alone in this Massive ROTTING Town and my only friend whom I truly feel bonded with is a creep for an ex boyfriend with little respect and even less remorse. My roommate is super distant, my sister (I miss her) I miss the old her when I could just hold her, but now all she ever does is complain, although dying her hair the other day was a lot of fun and full of giggles. I need more days like that. My band hasn’t come through for me gig wise, I’ve been let go from Karaoke completely (Fucking liars). I have no money to do anything I need to do and even less to pay back the people I owe. I just feel completely screwed over, let down, and unwanted. Why did I ever come to this godforsaken town?

Mina Kaye Jaeger March 23, 2015 at 09:45PM


I want to apologize to everyone for the weirdo stalker situation. I feel really bad for anyone who got caught in the cross fire and had to deal with the repercussions of me unfriending the creeper. He used a Facebook conversation generator and those were not real messages from me. I apologize to anyone that he attempts to friend request.