A Solution

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*Sigh of relief*

I stood against a wall bashing my forehead repeatedly against it, struggling to comprehend if I had any means of escape. With the band not playing out and losing my karaoke spot, my ability to afford my current living situation has been a consistent struggle. When Knight proposed the idea of me moving back in I was consoled by the offer, but was faced with trials in regards to the roommate situation as she didn’t seem very willing to cooperate like she had originally promised. Not only has she been unable to locate a substitute roommate but also held the fact that I signed a lease against me (when originally discussed, was not what was agreed upon) but in order to get her and her daughter out of the toxic roommate situation she was in, I bent over backwards and did everything I could to help out. I was starting to pace in frustration having no way out of a position that I could scarcely afford. Thankfully Serendipity came to save the day.

Several weeks back my good friend Neal came to stay due to having a job interview at a Hospital in Rock Island. He contacted me several days ago informing me that he acquired the new job position but would have no where to stay, let alone afford anything initially until he received his first paycheck. Then epiphany struck, and after a brief discussion with Jennifer she agreed with the idea of him taking over my place on the lease. He also seemed relieved that he wouldn’t have to be sleeping in his jeep and bathing in the hospital bathroom for weeks. Things may be moving quicker than anticipated, but overall I’m so relieved about everything. It’s a win, win, win situation. I get to move into a place I can afford, Jennifer isn’t left stranded with no way to afford a roof over her daughter’s head, and Neal gets a temporary residence while starting his new place of employment without having to drive an hour and a half back and forth to Yarmouth every morning and night. Blessed be to the universe. Law of Attraction working at its best. Not to mention, when I think about it Neal and Jennifer have a LOT in common. They are both OCD know it alls, so I think they will make excellent roommates and friends. Although sometimes that is known to clash, but Neal doesn’t really clash with anyone, he just sometimes weirds them out a little bit. I already have the rent for June paid off, so once Neal gets up here, we can fill out all the necessary paperwork for the lease transfer and then begin the moving process, and just pay me back with his first paycheck. He had mentioned purchasing a blowup air mattress, but I told him that’s pointless and just to use my bed for awhile, since there is a twin bed at Knights. Which, truth be told, I have an ulterior motive for wanting to use (So Matt can’t spend the night).

Matt and I have been butting heads for a good week now. His personality has done a 180. He’s gone from annoyingly sweet to bitterly cruel and spiteful. Sadly I was using him for little things because I couldn’t afford anything, but now that I’ll be moving out into Knights I won’t be reliant on him anymore. I figure I’ll let him fix my sparkplugs and then wait for him to piss me off again and finally cut ties. I thought my finances were what was stressing me out, but even with the relief of knowing everything is going to be fine knowing that he is still clinging to me for dear life is suffocating. I officially can not stand to have to answer to anybody. His constant demands and high expectations are overwhelming. I even made a Pro’s and Con’s list about him and the con’s considerably outweighed the pro’s. Even though Knight and I aren’t a thing anymore, being with Matt has allowed me to reflect and feel grateful for the relationship I had and have with Knight. I appreciate so much that he does. It has left me feeling… Loyal. I know thats a weird way to describe it, but I think there is alot that comes along with loyalty. I feel protective should anyone try to mess with him, I’d defend him to the end, I want to encourage all his endeavors, and help out anyway I can. There are some friendships (even as weird as they are) that come into our lives and leaves an everlasting impression. Although I may not have understood when we met the connection I felt, it has certainly transformed into something powerful in my life. Something like that footprints in your heart quote?

In good news, Kayla and Graham are purchasing a house in Muscatine so now I’ll have two besties living in town or close by. I think that should help out alot with my home sickness.

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