It’s been a long crazy week. I’m exhausted although I can’t sleep, I moved back to knights, my bed sucks, I slept on a thumb tack, my shit is everywhere with no definite home yet, Matt’s being an ass and refuses to come over like Knight is the plague, I haven’t been laid in a while, not to mention the numerous amounts of awkward moments already, but you know what. Fuck it. I’m throwing my hands in the air and walking away. My feelings are way too everywhere to deal with at this moment when I already have so much on my plate. Long story short, We both want freedom, but I love him. It’s hard not to want him, so I run away from him, and then regret desperately it when I go to see him two nights in a row but the lights are already out in his room.
I feel like I keep lashing out, when in my mind I thought I concluded I wasn’t going to. I thought this would be easier. I thought I was getting over him, but then there are so many times when I need him, then stare with appreciation or longing. God, I hope I just have a lot of things to keep me busy this week.
I went for a walk to blow off steam and here I am still not able to sleep. My mind is restless, consumed by every to do I’ll forget to write down. *le sigh*
Cute moment* – when I realized he did get the crockpot cleaned; and a smirk crosses your face and you treasure all the little things he does.