About Being Open


So a strange turn of events. The open relationship has officially begun and a mix of strange emotions I didn’t expect has occurred. I received a message from an old friend of mine. A few years younger and only charming when he wants to be. Its one of those love hate relationships like in middle school where you make fun of the girl you have a crush on. He’s always mean to me, so I’m just as rude back, then we laugh and debate philosophy, never agreeing on a single thing, yet somehow still managing to get along throughout. Jason: Can I take you home with me?  Mina: haha! And why would you want to do that?

So apparently… I had no idea.

Jason: Consider? How Lame. I've been wanting this for a long time, to be honest.
Mina: oh yeah?
Jason: Yes, for some reason I never really had the balls to say anything I guess.
Mina: And for how long is a long time?
Jason: Years? Soooo… just say yes?

At this point I notice as of the beginning of July he is in a relationship, I inquired about her and mention that I’m in an open relationship and would be willing to go through with this, but need to check with my other half. He seemed open to the idea, which is the first of all the men i’ve mentioned it too. I’m not sure why the others get so turned away by it. Likely they want more than just the typical one night stand with Miss Mina Kaye. I informed him of the guidelines and then waited to hear back from Knight. Who had quite a bombshell to mention himself.

Mina: Need to talk
Knight: About?
Mina: We discussed going through with this open thing, to see if I can handle it, 
and tonight I have an opportunity to see someone, but I wanted to check and make 
sure this was still what you wanted?
Knight: Have fun. make sure not to have more fun with him then you do with me, lol
Mina: I don't think that is possible my darling. Besides, not to mention i'm scared 
for some reason. I still feel like I'm doing something wrong and I'm gonna get in trouble.
Knight: There's no reason to be. Will I get in trouble if I do?
Mina: Not by me you won't. I just feel like.. idk how to describe it.
Knight: Well, I think you need a good example so I have a question. Through Friday 
and Saturday, did I seem different anyhow or did I feel the same? More or less 
loving/caring? The same?
Mina: I can never get enough , but otherwise yes, you seemed very caring and your 
kind tender loving self
Knight: Good, I was certainly very happy to be there and in your arms.
Point is, Thursday I was hanging with a female friend of mine I made plans with 
about a week prior, hadn't seen her in a month. I don't like to cancel plans and 
be a flake. We had sex.
She left, I slept fairly well (for maybe six hours), woke up, went to work, home, 
got ready and immediately started speeding to Burlington to see you, pookie. 
If you still feel fine after reading that, know that it will work exactly the 
same on my end.
So, the bomb had been dropped. How was I going to react? But my reaction was not what I had expected…
Mina: She didn't sleep over?
Knight: Hell no, I'm not about to share my bed when I don't have to. Lol
Mina: good, i'm fine then
Knight: Good.  you're my moon, nobody else. I have to get back to work, 
I'll be off at 4
Mina: Okay xoxo
It was not the sleeping with someone else that had bothered me. It wasn’t even truly a feeling of jealously but instead more or less a possessiveness, not even over the boyfriend, but the bed! I want a male to feel possessive of me. Maybe that makes me old-fashioned or wrong or whatever. I want to be possessive of him too but Not to the point of jealousy or craziness, just ‘hey, that’s MY girl’ ‘damn, baby, I’m so glad you are my woman’ kind of thing. For me I’m possessive of the romance of it all, and for me the bed happens to be part of that. As of now, we don’t really share a bed, so in that sense I know I have to bite my lip and bear it, not sure if I want to lay in it though, but I did feel better that she didn’t stay the night or I don’t think it would have gone over well for me. The other thing that bothered me was I thought we were going to mention “it” happening, at least not days after the fact. But I suppose that was for the best too as the weekend may not have gone as charmingly as it did had I known, I may have shown resentment, but instead, knowing after I was able to witness that his behavior was consistent. In the end, he called me his moon, and really that’s all that matters.

I may be his moon, but he is my everything. <3