So Productive! Like a Damn Ninja Monkey!


Daily AstroSlam for Monday, August 12
Shallow isn’t normally a word you’d use to describe yourself, but today it becomes painfully evident that almost everyone else in your social sphere immediately refers to you when that word comes up. Perhaps it’s time to scratch the surface.

What a Productive nonstop week its been. Set up payment Plan with Medi Credit to begin paying on my hospital debt. Just means I am that much more broke, but I feel better knowing I want to be as debt free in my new life. I don’t want to live with all the burdens of my past continuously haunting. Also had two different rehearsals. First with Shane Weaver. Getting on the Daft Punk baby. Woot. Songs came together better than I had anticipated. Then had him drop me off at the church in W. Burlington to meet up with the blind piano player Richard Webb. I fucked up everything. Got a lot of work to do there. By the time I got home it was late, but I was raring to go. Lindy called me and I accepted her invitation to stay the night. Charlie cut my bangs and Lindy waxed my eyebrows. So I’m feeling ready for the weekend.

Daily AstroSlam for Tuesday, August 13
Revisit your glorious teen years — play hooky, watch horror movies while babysitting, eat all the ice cream, raid the medicine cabinets, practice your sneer, slam a door, lose your homework and piss off your parents. See! Wasn’t that fun?

Stayed the night with Lindy and oh boy did we giggle so much. She had me watch this foreign film Diary of a Nymphomaniac, which obviously besides all the numerous sex scenes, was incredibly moving. Showing the struggle of a girl just trying to find herself and love in the process, only to run into a ton of psycho’s. Hmm Sounds familiar doesn’t it? The main one being who she fell in love with and he ended up being controlling and psychotically possessive. Screams Kiplin in a nutshell. But she was strong enough to walk away in the movie, only to have to face the aftermath of emotional breakdowns. I could all too relate and started to freak out when the guy was screaming at her calling her his wife when she clearly wasn’t. Kip still calls me from time to time saying he wants his fucking wife back. Lindy and Andy were just the same. Kip and Andy were two peas in a pod. No wonder they got along. Fucking weirdos. But after my freak out of how considerable I related to this character I stood in awe. My life is no longer like that. I have a kind and caring supportive man, who genuinely seems to care and doesn’t keep me from my life’s passions, but instead encourages them. There is no longer the fighting (Four months and barely a heavy debate, Fucking wow) or the screaming till your voice gives out. No more curled in a ball on the floor feeling helpless. I stood in utter amazement at how happy I am. Instead of dwelling in the hardships of my past, I can finally look back at it and be grateful, for had I not suffered through all the torment and bitterness, the result of what I have found would not nearly be as sweet. I have found that place of contentment where I feel safe and uplifted. How long I have searched for it. I’m going full steam ahead and pray I don’t lose it this time.

After much encouragement, I was able to get Lindy to take me to meet Kayla for lunch on time at the Drake. Though I couldn’t seem to eat very well. Came home to find out my CD burner is broke so that puts a damper on certain things. But I managed to be able to burn the CD for Rich on dads computer downstairs. Shortly after 4pm Seth, my brother, arrived and I went to help him clean his room. HOLY SHIT. You couldn’t walk through it. Just a layer of trash and pop cans across the entirety of the rooms floor. But I attacked it with full force. Like a “Ninja monkey” he said. I was flyin’. What he had anticipated as a 3 hour job I nailed in an hour and a half. Came home to do my laundry for work tomorrow. Began to pack for my epic week in Davenport, with the one person I cherish most in my life. And the following week should prove to be just as productive. Thursday I have the audition with Whiplash Abby in Muscatine. Hopefully I’ll be able to take my PC in for repairs on Thursday or Friday so it will be finished before I have to return home Tuesday. Jake is coming down for the weekend as well. He said he needs a break from all the muck, and has been looking forward to this trip since I told him it was Knights birthday weekend.

On the weird note, I get to meet Knights Ex-girlfriend  Alex Friday. Not sure why she’s coming down to Davenport to celebrate her birthday, but eh… I do well in awkward situations and I’m actually very excited and curious to meet her, I just think I’m mostly worried about how I’ll feel when they are cracking inside jokes back and forth laughing, and I’m going to feel like an outsider. She’s friends with all his friends, and I’m still the newbie who they don’t really know. So I’m begging Jake to be there to hold my hand through it all for when my insecurities get too high.

On another weird note my sister basically broke things off with her boyfriend Mitch (blue eyes). Didn’t really see that coming. I thought she was so into him. But her reasons were completely sound and very logical. In its own way, I think its her preparing for the move, and to continue forward with her life as well without anyone holding her back from what she wants. On top of that interesting news, she told mom about moving with me to Knight and somehow (even though mother voiced concerned about my habits and reliability) she seemed open to the idea of Deseree coming along with me. O.o …. … No idea how that happened.

Well, That was a lot of ranting.


Waterpark Rehearsals?


Interesting week its been. Sunday I worked, went and jammed with Shane Weaver whom I’m putting an acoustic thing together with, Then I went to Open Mic Night with my brother, where we bailed early due to noise levels, only to be swept into worst territory with the worst karaoke music you’ve ever heard. The slowest, saddest, country songs that made me want to put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger, luckily Jake made it fun with a game of drinking when the golf guy touches his hat (who showed up randomly with the gf *opp, third wheel am I again.*) and hadn’t even bothered to call and ask if I wanted to go. But supposedly he “assumed” I was gonna be there. Sure… Bailed with my brother and his married friends and hung in Lindy’s garage chatting till about 4 in the morning. Seth was asking me a lot of questions about Knight, how I felt about him, and If I thought I was going to stay here instead of take off to Austin like I had originally planned.

Then Monday I had Kayla guilt trip me and drug me hung over to the water park (Fun city) Which I’ve never been to one before, If I have I was too young to remember. I was also to scared to ride the waterside, so I basically stuck to the lazy river. She ditched early to go pick up her cat from the vet and I stayed behind with Lindy and Kevin. Kevin gave me a lift home and I mentioned about wanting to move to Davenport. He says he likes living there and he’s glad he moved out of Burlington.

Tuesday I stayed home with the family. Nothing really exciting, but was productive. Did laundry, showered, attempted to put together the cabaret set list on with the pianist Richard Webb who’s going to play for me at the Bart Howard room if all goes well. I’m still having difficulty choosing songs though.  I’m meeting him Wednesday at the St Paul United Church on Ramsey & Mt Pleasant st in West Burlington at 7pm to go over songs and see what we can come up with.

As for today, I had to wake up an hour early to get a ride to work from Wendy. And was work ever a cluster fuck. I almost had an anxiety attack. So on my lunch break I called Dr Bair, and I set up an appointment with him tomorrow at 2pm.  I think there are some things I need to get off my chest about the past two years or so. And now that i’m working I can afford to go to him again. I truly feel I need the guidance.