Disabled my Okcupid account. Finally met the only person I ever liked on there anyway. — listening to Moves Like Jagger.
Thanks to everyone who came out to Whiteys last night for ModdyZuma. I had such a wonderful time and absolutely loved performing with the lovelyKristin Rose Kelly. Thanks for all the compliments and support. It really meant the world. And Good luck to the fabulous Cody and Greg Flietner who are leaving us for Florida. You will be missed so greatly. — feeling loved.
Visited with some amazing friends last night. Had a blast at Lindy’s *As we always do* and possibly loved the trip to Hungry Bear the next day just as much as the night before. Not to mention the beautiful day we had! I enjoyed it playing my first game of Frisbee Golf. I officially suck *majorly* but that won’t prevent me from having fun anyway!! I have the coolest friends — watching The Loved Ones with Lindy Marie and 7 others.
I don’t scream for ice cream, I seductively moan.
The Irish Pub – Burlington, IA
So I’ve decided I’m sticking around Burlington. MY BFF’s Having a Baby!!!!! — feeling excited.
Going tonight with my Uncle Patrick Noon To see SCC Music & Drama Presents: Bye Bye Birdie and I’m so excited! Then off to Whiteys Bar to Rock out to Leaving Abbey and Sean Costanza Live with Eric Bartholomew. Gonna be an eventful night. Wouldn’t it be so fun to put together a Rockabilly Band Fujiyama Mama — listening to Wanda Jackson.
At least then I would know it meant something.
At least then I would know I mattered.
If he could hate me, I would know that I was etched into the fabric of him. I would be indelible. It would be loud and chaotic and alive.
I should be more than a fading memory. More than a vague twinge too fleeting to masquerade as regret.
I would hate him if I could. If I didn’t remember the way it felt when his hazel eyes looked at me like I was the only person in the room. If I didn’t remember the urgency of his fingers and palms. If I could remember July.
I wish he hated me because I need him to.
I need to feel like more than just “hello” and “goodbye.”
If he hated me, I could convince myself that it felt like love